Tips for living through change
This has been a year of transitions, and it can feel overwhelming when we experience a number of changes all at once. Here are a few tips to help your student live (and thrive) through change.
Take stock of change
While it may feel overwhelming, taking stock of the changes we are experiencing or making can help us process them. Encourage your student to grab a sheet of paper or use an app to create four columns:
Column 1: Changes
In this column, your student should write down the changes they’re currently experiencing or making in their life. This could include things like remote classes, moving or changing their major. Have them write each change down on a separate line.
Column 2: Feelings
How do these changes make your student feel? Encourage them to write down all of the feelings they have for each change in column 2. Remind your student that it’s possible to experience positive and negative emotions at the same time. Encourage your student not to judge what emotions come up for them.
Column 3: Behaviors
Once your student has identified their feelings, encourage them to consider how their behavior has been affected by these changes. For instance, your student may find themselves going for walks more often to get outside or staring blankly at their screens because they’re feeling Zoomed out. Have them write down all the ways their behaviors or habits have changed in column 3.
Column 4: Positives
Finally, encourage your student to consider the positive aspects of these changes. This can be tricky, but looking on the bright side can help improve your student’s mood and move forward with change in a positive way. For instance, being remote may mean that your student gets to spend more time with their pets or perhaps they can sleep in longer. Add all of the positives, big and small.
Once your student has completed these columns, encourage them to take a look at what they’ve written. Do they notice any patterns or themes? They can also consider adding an additional column to help them brainstorm self-care activities they can practice to help cope with each change.
Develop a growth mindset
Our mindset is informed by attitudes and opinions that shape how we see, interact and think about the world around us. Mindsets are often split into two categories: fixed and growth.
Fixed mindset
People with fixed mindsets tend to believe that their qualities are fixed and there is little room for change or improvement. They may also focus on areas that allow them to use their innate talents and intelligence to succeed, while avoiding subjects that require substantial effort, new skills or that may result in mistakes or failure.
Growth mindset
People with a growth mindset tend to believe that they can improve their intelligence and talents through time, experience and learning. They are more likely to accept challenges, see mistakes as learning opportunities and welcome feedback, both positive and negative.
These mindsets exist along a continuum, and it’s normal to experience both in different areas of our lives. If your student is curious about where they fall, encourage them to check out this mindset continuum worksheet.
Moving toward a growth mindset
Did you know we can change our mindsets? It’s true! People with fixed mindsets can work to develop a growth mindset. Here are a few ways you can move toward a growth mindset:
Add “yet”. If your student is struggling with a class, project or activity, it can be helpful to encourage them to add “yet” to the end of their thoughts. For instance, I can’t do this… yet. Adding “yet” can help your student create a more positive outlook because it implies that they can reach their goals and their hard work will pay off in the future.
Focus on the lesson. When we have a fixed mindset, we tend to focus on our shortcomings. Instead, encourage your student to focus on what they can gain or learn from their mistakes or failures. For instance, they can ask questions like “What has this experience taught me that I can apply in the future?” or “What would I do differently next time?”
Think of feedback as a gift. Constructive feedback can feel overwhelming when we have a fixed mindset. Developing a growth mindset often requires us to think of feedback as a gift that someone is giving us or a gift we can give someone else. Remind your student that people often give feedback as a way to help them improve or grow in their work. Encourage them to try soliciting feedback from people who they see as experts and allow them to help them improve.
Connect with resources
Whether your student has a fixed or growth mindset, change can still be a challenging experience. Remind your student that it’s okay to ask for support and use campus resources.
Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS) has a number of virtual mental health programs to help students process change and life transitions, including individual counseling, Let’s Talk consultations and workshops.
Health Promotion provides a number of free programs to help students focus on self-care, gratitude, stress management and mindfulness. Students can also meet with a Peer Wellness Coach to set goals, connect with additional resources and find support.
Student Affairs Human Resources hosted a number of presentations on growth mindset as part of their Employee Learning Week. Follow along with recorded presentations and learn more strategies for developing a growth mindset.
Content for this article was provided by Mike Murray, Assistant Vice Chancellor of Strategic Initiatives in ˛ĘĂń±¦µä’s Department of Human Resources.