Ways to support your student and yourself through a traumatic experience
Traumatic events can impact people in different and unexpected ways. Reactions may happen to people who experienced the event firsthand, to those who have witnessed or heard about the event or to those who have been involved in some way. Whatever you may be going through, it’s important to show yourself and others compassion as we all work to process the events that took place at the Table Mesa King Soopers on March 22.
Here are a few ways you can support your student and yourself through challenging times.Ěý
Supporting your student
If you notice your student may be struggling, here are some things you can do:
Start the conversation
It can be hard to talk about struggles, especially if it seems like others are doing okay. If you notice that your student may be going through a difficult time, reach out.
Remember that when your student shares that they’re struggling, it’s important to listen to them without judging them or offering advice. Sometimes the most helpful thing to do is sit with your student through the challenging moments. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know you’re there for them. This may sound like:
- “It sounds like you’re struggling a lot with that.”
- “How can I help?”
- “I care about you, and I’m here for you.”
- “That sounds like a scary experience, and I can see why you feel that way.”
Normalize their feelings
Normalize and validate your student’s feelings. This doesn’t mean that you’re normalizing the bad thing that happened, but instead you’re affirming that their response to it is understandable. People respond to traumatic events differently. However someone is feeling or acting is normal. This may include laughing, crying, anger, numbness or other responses. If you’re concerned someone is at risk of harming themselves or others, please call 911 or request a mental health welfare check (information below).
Avoid judgment
It can also be helpful to understand and recognize your own internal judgments and how they may affect your response in this situation. Having judgment about what someone could have done differently is normal, but it’s important not to verbalize that judgment, as it can cause shame and self-blame for the person. Feeling judged won’t change what happened, and it may keep someone from seeking additional support.
Follow up
If you talk with your student about a traumatic experience, be sure to follow up with them or check in to see how they’re doing. It may be helpful to talk with your student about scheduling a regular call to check in with them. Talking with your student about how often they want to be contacted can help you ensure that you’re able to give them enough privacy and space so they can process these events.Ěý
Here are a few examples of ways to check in with with your student:
- “You are so important to me, and I love you. I am here for you.”
- “I understand you may not be ready now, and I’m here for you if you want to talk.”
- “What feelings are coming up for you? Let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.”
Encourage them to lean on their community
During this time, many find the greatest support from their community and those they are close with. Encourage your student to rely on those closest to them. Remind them to reach out to friends or family, find community to come together with others or check in with those they work with and live near.
Student resources
If your student is struggling, there are a number of resources available to help.Ěý
Student welfare checks
If your student has told you that they are in a crisis, you can request a welfare check. On-campus welfare checks are conducted in partnership with ˛ĘĂń±¦µä Police (CUPD) and Counseling & Psychiatric Services (CAPS), and may be requested if you are concerned about the health, safety or welfare of your student.Ěý
Be prepared to provide the exact address (residence hall and room number if on campus) as well as the reason for concern.Ěý
- On-campus welfare checks: call CUPD at 303-492-6666
- Off-campus welfare checks: call Boulder Police at 303-441-3333
Learn more about when to contact emergency services to respond to a mental health crisis.
Counseling and Psychiatric Services
Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS) is here to support undergrad and graduate students who may be experiencing impacts from the recent events at King Soopers, Atlanta and other mental health concerns. Students can access crisis services by calling 303-492-2277 or visiting the CAPS Crisis Support page.
CAPS is also providing drop-in services through e-Let’s Talk, which allows students to connect with a counselor virtually for free. Due to the current influx of appointment requests, CAPS is encouraging students to call or use e-Let’s Talk if you’re not able to schedule a screening appointment right away.
Students can also build valuable skills related to stress management, mindfulness, distress tolerance, self-care, relationships and healthy living by signing up for one of CAPS’ free virtual workshops, which are available throughout the week.
Students who are interested in longer-term counseling support can use to find community providers. CAPS is available to help students explore their options and make referrals to community resources.Ěý
Office of Victim Assistance
The Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) provides free, confidential counseling, advocacy, information and referrals for all CU community members, including undergrad and graduate students. They specialize in addressing current and past life-disruptive events, including but not limited to, crime, trauma, gender-based violence, experiences of bias, harassment, discrimination, sexual assault, abuse and violence.
Students can call 303-492-8855 to schedule same-day appointments, consultations and access 24/7 support. OVA also provides free and confidential drop-in services virtually through their e-Ask an Advocate program.
Collegiate Recovery Center
The Collegiate Recovery Center (CUCRC) offers free peer-to-peer support meetings and community for students, staff and faculty who are in recovery, interested in recovery or who are recovery allies. The CUCRC is here to provide a space for CU community members to connect, find support and process traumatic events in a healthy and productive way.Ěý
Don’t Ignore It
provides resources for students, staff and faculty to learn how to help a fellow Buff in need.
View a full list of traumatic event resources.
Supporting yourself
We understand that these events can have a significant impact on both our students and their families. If you’re experiencing feelings of shock, grief, anger, stress or being overwhelmed, here are some ways to show yourself compassion now and in the coming weeks.
Set healthy boundaries with yourself and others
Boundaries play an important role in our lives, especially when we are feeling anxious or experiencing a crisis.
Setting boundaries with yourself may look like:
- Limiting your consumption of news or social media
- Turning off notifications when you feel overwhelmed or need to focus
- Making time to engage in hobbies or focus on things that bring you joy
Setting boundaries with others may look like:
- Allowing yourself to say no or walk away from situations that make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe
- Asking to change the topic of conversation away from current events or other topics that negatively impact your emotional health
Don’t fight your feelings
When we experience a crisis or feel overwhelmed, it can be difficult to process our feelings and emotions. Sometimes, we may want to shut down or “turn off” our feelings. However, it’s important to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is normal and okay.
Journaling is a great way to explore and process your feelings. It can also help you work through your feelings and move forward in a healthy and productive way. If you’re new to journaling, try setting a timer for 2-5 minutes to write. If you don’t fill the whole time, that’s okay. If you’re unsure what to write about, try one of these prompts to get you started:​
- Write down all of the feelings that are coming up for you. Don’t try to moderate them or judge them, simply let them flow onto the paper.
- Write a letter to a loved one. What would you want them to know?
- What has helped me through this process? What hasn’t?
- How can I make today better than yesterday?
- What am I learning about myself through this process?
- How can I stay connected with friends, family, loved ones and my community?
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Practice self-care
Self-care is an important process for managing our mental health, though it may look different from person to person. Remember to set realistic goals and choose activities that you will enjoy and benefit from long-term. Even if you can’t commit a significant amount of time, a few minutes of self-care a day is better than none at all. If you aren’t sure where to begin, start with the basics:
- Open your blinds: Opening your windows and blinds can help improve your mood and brighten up your space with sunshine and fresh air.
- Take a walk: Physical activity, exercise and movement can help us process stress and move through our emotions.
- Get outside: Enjoy a change of scenery by getting out into nature, whether it’s around your house, at a park or on a local hiking trail.
- Enjoy your hobbies. Dedicate time each day or week to engage in hobbies or activities you enjoy. This could include reading, watching a movie, listening to music or other activities that make you feel good.Ěý
Family resources
If you are in need of personal support, here are some resources available to families.Ěý
Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs): Check with your employer to see if they offer an EAP. These voluntary programs offer free and confidential services, including assessments, short-term counseling, referrals and follow-up services to employees. EAPs can help address a broad range of issues related to mental health and emotional-wellbeing, including grief, substance use, stress, family problems and mental health conditions. Check with your employer to see how you can get connected.
Mental health through insurance: If you currently have health insurance, you can call the number on the back of your card to ask about mental health insurance coverage and providers that are in-network for your specific plan. You can also access providers through your insurance’s website listed on the back of your insurance card. This is the best way to find a provider that is in-network and covered by your specific insurance plan. However, you can also use to sort through additional providers based on speciality, language preference, therapy types and more.