彩民宝典

Whether you鈥檙e comparing final grades or likes on Instagram, the pressure to be perfect can feel overwhelming. Of course we all want to do our best in school, our jobs and other areas of life. But how do you know if you鈥檙e walking the fine line between high standards and unrealistic expectations?

When perfectionism becomes unhealthy

Our expectations can come from family, peers or even ourselves. It鈥檚 becoming more common for people to have high expectations of themselves. In fact, a new study has shown that .

But the belief that you must succeed at everything you do is impractical and can cause more harm than good. You may be struggling with unhealthy perfectionism if you:

• Struggle to acknowledge or celebrate your successes
• Believe small mistakes can be catastrophic
• Constantly worry about failing
• Worry that people won鈥檛 like you or support you if you鈥檙e not perfect
• Feel unsatisfied with your life
• Constantly feel overwhelmed, stressed or anxious

If you experience any of the indicators listed above, you鈥檙e not alone. Many people struggle with the pressures associated with perfectionism, unrealistic expectations and high achievement.

There are steps you can take to help reset your expectations and alleviate stress related to perfectionism. Here are some ideas to try out this summer:

Practice gratitude

Take time to celebrate your progress, milestones and victories. Practicing gratitude for the things you鈥檝e accomplished so far can help you stay positive and keep things in perspective. It can also be a tool for re-framing failures. Gratitude may help you begin to see failures and setbacks as learning opportunities, rather than sources of dread.

You may also find it helpful to make a list of your positive characteristics that have nothing to do with your performance. Many traits like generosity, humor and patience aren鈥檛 reflected in normal performance measures, so it can be good to remind yourself of these when you鈥檙e feeling down.

Refine your feed鈥攐nline and in real life

If you find yourself making unfair comparisons with others online or in real life, it may be time to refine your feed.

For social media, ask yourself the following questions:

• Do the posts I see make me feel better or worse?
• Am I comparing my life, body or success to others?
• Are any of my social feeds negatively affecting my mental health?

Depending on your answers, you may want to make some changes. Consider muting or removing accounts that may be negatively affecting you. Instead, opt to follow accounts that promote positivity, post funny memes or motivational content that makes you feel better.

In real life, you can ask yourself many of the same things:

• Are the people in my life making me feel better or worse?
• Am I comparing my life, body or success to others?
• Are my relationships negatively affecting my mental health?

While it can be easier to modify your social life online, it鈥檚 important to be in tune with how your relationships may be affecting you. If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others in your social circle, it may be time to take a break or change your frame of mind.

Remind yourself that everyone has different struggles and one measure of success is not final. It can also be helpful to reach out to someone you trust about how you鈥檙e feeling, whether it鈥檚 a friend or family member.

Be kind to yourself

It can be easy to get caught up in negative thoughts when you鈥檙e striving for perfection. One way to combat this is to eliminate 鈥渟hould have鈥� statements from your internal dialogue. For instance, instead of telling yourself 鈥淚 should have done better on that project鈥�, tell yourself 鈥淚 did my best with the time and resources I had鈥�. Show yourself kindness, and acknowledge the effort you put towards different activities.

Self-care is another important way you can be kind to yourself. Not only can self-care activities improve your mood, but it can also help to reduce anxiety and stress. Find activities that make you happy or help you relax, and work them into your schedule. If you have a few minutes, practice meditation or take a quick break to listen to your favorite song. If you have more time, consider coloring, walking in the park or grabbing coffee with a friend. While it may be hard to justify 鈥渕e time鈥�, these activities will help you feel better in the long run.